In defence of… Moustaches

Now I’m usually the proud owner of a nice bushy beard but as it’s November I’ve decided to do my bit for prostate cancer and grow a moustache. Give me your money here.

So moustaches and movies. How to look like a badass and not a registered sex offender… here are some of my picks.


~ Sam Elliot ~

Sam as Virgil in 1993's Tombstone. Don't diss the facial fuzz.

Without question the daddy of all moustaches. Whether it’s in The Big Lebowski or Tombstone, Elliot’s tache conveys wisdom and a “tough but fair” kinda guy. When he talks you’ll listen and if you don’t, he school your punk ass!


~ Nicolas Cage ~

H.I. McDunnough from Raising Arizona. Beaver.

Is there anything Nicolas Cage can’t do? Eithne better not leave a comment saying act! Here we see him as the hapless fool H.I. Mc Dunnough trying to make his wife happy and his tidy tache makes him all the more forgivable. He does kinda look like one of the angry beavers though I’ll give you that…


~ Clark Gable ~

Clark Gable. Gone with the Wind. Mmmmmm.

Of course he doesn’t give a damn! Look at that moustache for God sake, you’ve seen more appealing things crawl across your salad and there are rats with less offensive facial hair. But some how the Gabester manages to make it work. Whatever “products” he used to make it so alluring must have poisoned his brain in some way to make him long for Scarlett for so long.


~ Charles Bronson ~

Charles Bronson. Tough guy tache.

It is often said by the small of mind that a moustache makes you a member of the gay community, usually by jealous fools who couldn’t grow one if their life depended on it. I’d have dared you to say that to Charles.


~ Samuel L. Jackson ~

Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction. You'd know his name is the Lord when he lays his vengeance upon you y'know.

Rocking the curly handlebar all the way to Raquel’s Junkyard. Even Ezekiel would have approved.


~ Groucho Marx ~

Groucho Marx. Moustachioed from birth.

Would Groucho been have funny without his thick greasepaint moustache? Surely not and he would never have provided us with one of the funniest scenes committed to celluloid.


~ Frida Kahlo ~

Salma Hayek as Frida 'Ronnie' Kahlo.

Here at spooool we like to be inclusive so this is one for all the ladies.


and finally…

~ Jeffrey Jones ~

Jeffrey Jones playing Mr. Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Mr Rooney has to get a mention as he keeps it real for all us gingers with a nice old fashioned. However it would appear his moustache led him down the sex offender path – Jeffrey Jones Busted: ‘Ferris Bueller’ Actor Faces Felony Charge For Sex Offense.

For shame Jeffrey.

And seriously. Movember. Give me your money here

  • Gillian O’Hea

    No Tom Selleck? King of the moustache? For shame!

    • Nigel Wheatley

      This was my email reply to Páraic from an hour ago…

      “Also you forgot Tom Selleck you bastard. We have the 3 men and a baby poster on our bathroom wall!!!!”

      - see attached….

      • Páraic

        Tom Selleck came to fame with Magum PI which is tv so put that in your pipe and smoke it !