Piranha 3DD – The Walkout

I have never walked out of a film before in all my cinema going years, until now.

A friend and I were sitting down in Dublin’s Cineworld cinema for Piranha 3DD anticipating boobs and blood when in walked a mother and father with their child. The child was probably about four years old, but definitely no older than six, and we began to wonder if we’d gone to the wrong screen when up pops the IFCO rating screen - “Piranha 3DD 18″. We look towards the family and realise they don’t seem to be moving. A bit perturbed we sit on and presume they’ll gather their stuff and leave in a minute or two. They don’t.

The film – or the 15 or so minutes I saw – was terrible. From the get go there was incredibly pointless nudity in a really sleazy and pretty degrading manner. With full frontal and repeated references to how wet the girls were and a new “cooch” camera that had been installed into a swimming pool. Between not laughing and continually glancing at the parents to see if or why they hadn’t left yet it became a pretty unsettling experience.

When a character vomited in 3D and another cast member who had just been “dusting” himself off in the pool jumps on said vomit my friend turned to me and said she was leaving. For me it was the fact the child hadn’t been removed that was the deciding factor. I would have stayed if the child wasn’t there but probably not if my friend still decided to leave. I go to the cinema by myself all the time, that’s not the issue, but more so that there are certain films you like to have company for – horrors or silly blockbusters. I’m not trying to come off as incredibly moralistic either “quick women are being portrayed as mere sexual playthings for male gratification, to the barricades!” there’s nothing new in that. I knew what to expect having seen the first Piranha reboot and it was an enjoyably ridiculous 3D experience, a great example of a B-movie. They definitely had turned the stupidity up to 11 here, seemingly only to have made the film for horny teenage boys.

We really have James Cameron (the obscure director of Piranha Part Two: The Spawning and some other lesser known films) to thank for this. In recent years there have been numerous pointlessly 3D films and for every Avatar or Hugo there is a Mars needs Moms or Piranha 3DD. I did find it hard to leave having never left a film before, but it was just too weird with the underage child there. It felt incredibly odd but also like a statement was being made and I was reminded of being at other films where walkouts occurred, Snowtown in particular. It is the ultimate expression of displeasure at someone’s film. So no review unless Nigel goes but I would advise against it.

My friend did inform a member of the Cineworld staff as we left requesting the child be removed.

isense a scam

| o | - The six-screen, 1,011-seat Odeon at the Point Village will open this Tuesday.

Roll up roll up, there’s a new cinema in town and it wants a piece of the pie.

ODEON is to open at the Point Village this coming Tuesday March 27th as Harry Crosbie’s bid to take over the quays continues. The cinema boasts 6 screens and something called “isense” – and no that’s not IMAX unfortunately, something which the capital is still missing. Apparently it means bigger sound, picture blah blah blah. I thought initially it might have been some sort of “people throw shit at you during the film” vibe which could make classics like The Exorcist all the more visceral.

Pricing seems standard with deals of all films €6 before 1pm. But with so many cinemas in the city vying for people’s hard-earned cash you wonder if such a venture will really take off. They charge more for this isense business too and they also have premier seats which usually means they charge you a couple of euro extra for 2 inches more leg room. Clearly one of the features of the cinema will be premiere screenings. Harry no doubt has his eye on O’Connell Street’s Savoy and wants to turn the point into a Leicester Square type venue for the cinema glitterati.

I’ll reserve judgement until it opens and no doubt it’ll be shiny and new but with its location and no sign of loyalty deals I’ll be hard pressed to abandon Cineworld. You can poke around the site here…

JDIFF announce their 2012 award winners

| o | - Adieu JDIFF 2012

Congratulations to The Raid for taking both the Audience Award and Critics Choice Prize at this years Jameson Dublin International Film Festival!

I thought it was definitely the best film of the festival (check out the ★★★★★ review here) but nice to see it getting some official recognition too. It was great to see Eoghan Mac Giolla Bhride receiving the Michael Dwyer Discovery Award for his stellar performance in Silence which I was lucky enough to catch.

You can catch the full list of winners here.

We’ll have more reviews online in the next few days as we look to wrap things up on this year’s festival.

A “JDIFFerent” perspective on the first half of the film festival…

This is a guest post by Irish arts (distinct lack of theatre writing though) blogger Mick McGovern, who deposits his thoughts at amawaster.blogspot.com.

| o |

I love the Jameson Dublin International Film Festival. In between darting between cinemas and screens, queueing, Q&As and helping with market research (I studied sociology and statistics once upon a time so I have a compulsive need to fill out questionnaires and forms), I even managed to watch some films during the first half of the festival.
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Cloudburst // JDIFF 2012

This is a guest post from Dublin-based journalist Sarah Neville.

Geriatric lesbian road trip - ★★★★

“You should see this film, I’m great in it” – that’s what Brenda Fricker told JDIFF director Grainne Humphreys about Cloudburst according to its writer and director Thom Fitzgerald.

“Did I say that? Oh fuck,” the actress exclaimed to the audience at the gala opening of the festival in the Savoy cinema on Dublin’s O’Connell Street.

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Relishing The Room at Dublin’s Sugar Club

| o | - You're tearing me apart Lisa!

So what am I doing queuing outside Dublin’s Sugar Club at 11:30 on a cold Saturday night? Why to see The Room of course, the 2003 cult-classic that is considered one of the worst films ever made.

It stars Tommy Wiseau who also happens to be the writer, director and producer. He probably built the sets and made the tea while he was at it. Wiseau plays Johnny, who is madly in love with Lisa but little does he know Lisa is having a bit of hows-your-father with Mark, Johnny’s best friend. Gasp.

The Sugar Club stages this masterpiece in terrible movie-making, once a month at a midnight screening. Our host informs us of all the various chants before proceedings get under way. You must scream “Hey Denny” anytime he appears, the film is supposed to be shot in San Francisco but randomly has shots of the LA skyline which results in a chant of “meanwhile back in LA” and never has it been totally socially acceptable to scream SLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTT any time Lisa appears on screen.

The night I was there a group of guys stood to salute Johnny during the many soft core porn scenes and a few in attendance were wearing full tuxes for the insane scene where, for no reason, all the male cast are wearing them before proceeding to throw the old pig skin around.

| o | - Why they hell are we wearing tuxes?

It would be wise to have viewed the film before going along as it is quite hard at times to actually hear what’s going on due to the various screams, abuse and chants shouted at the screen but this only adds to the atmosphere.

I must say proper cinema etiquette is maintained for the two stand out moments which we will refer to as i) the florist scene and ii) Johnny’s attempt to get an Oscar with “You’re tearing me apart Lisa”.

Oh the spoons, how could I forget the spoons, for no reason during the film there are many framed photos of spoons and The Sugar Club kindly supplies you with plastic ones to hurl at the screen. But be careful not to be an eager teen and blow your spoons all at once as this will result in a spoon reccie to the front of the screen.

I have never experienced anything as insane and damn good fun in all my 22 years of going to the cinema, a fantastic night and a must for all fans of “bad” movies.

Book your tickets now for the next screening.

| o | - Oh, Hey Denny.

Potential highlights from the 10th annual Jameson Dublin International Film Festival

10th annual Jameson Dublin International FIlm Festival

Congratulations to the Lighthouse Cinema on their launch of the 10th JDIFF last night. The cinema was packed to the rafters with Dublin cinephiles.

The guest of honour Stellan Skarsgård was in flying form and got us all into festival mood, with the complementary whiskey helping as well.

The programme certainly doesn’t disappoint and for a full look at what’s coming up, check out the JDIFF site or use the embedded program at the bottom of this post.

But to make things that little bit easier when going through the program I have picked a few highlights.

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